Here is a photo of CJ Hill on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial. The first scene of Slayers happens at the Jefferson Memorial, and after she sent it to her editor, she started to worry that a dragon actually could make his way through the columns. If this were the case, said dragon would munch on tourists, thus drastically changing how the prologue should have turned out.
CJ was so afraid of being mocked by thousands of Jefferson Memorial aficionados for not knowing how far the columns are away from each other, that on a recent trip she visited the memorial. As any dutiful author would, she stepped out the area between the columns to see if a dragon could squeeze through them. (And no, the scads of tourists around her didn't think she was odd for doing this.)
CJ is happy to report that the Jefferson Memorial is indeed dragon proof, which means you can all carry on, cavorting at the memorial without fear.
Unless of course, you take baby dragons into consideration. They're smaller but just as vicious.
1.) You can go to the grocery store unshowered without having to worry about the paparazzi taking your picture. (Okay, very few authors have to worry about the paparazzi taking their pictures. But still.)
2.) If you wanted, you could pay some hot young model to pretend to be you at book signings. Just think of the sales . . .
3.) None of the people you dated in high school will read your novels and wonder if you’ve put them in your scenes—which means, you can.
4.) If your books get really famous, no one can find and sell those melodramatically bad novels you wrote earlier in your career. They’re all under a different name.
5.) Youtube has no known video of any wardrobe malfunctions you may have had.
6.) You can completely lie on your bio. (Why yes, Brad and Angelina are good friends.)
7.) You can do Skype school visits using a sock puppet to represent yourself. Haven’t you always wanted to be a sock puppet? (For any teachers who are out there reading this—I wouldn’t really be a sock puppet. A Barbie doll, maybe.)
8.) You’ll be able to blurb your own books. (CJ Hill is absolutely brilliant!)
9.) Your kids’ friends won’t feel squeamish while reading the kissing scenes, because—ewwww—they know you wrote them.
10.) No one will ever misspell a name like CJ Hill.